Porcelain
by Alex Glaven
Summary: *Akiko* On top of the Venus Lighthouse. Rated PG-13 for slash content, namely Felix/Alex. Don't like it? Don't read it.
1. Chapter 1

Hi, y'all! This is my first REAL slash story, definitely the first one  
I've posted. For those who don't know, slash is a relationship involving  
two guys, also known as yaoi, but this is more of a shonnen ai(boy/boy  
love) approach. If you have a problem with it, don't read the story.   
Flaming me isn't going to do anything. I wrote this because of a  
challenge. The challenger, Lucius, wanted me to post this on ff.net.   
So, here we go. I know there isn't a lot of slash content on here, so  
please, either keep an open mind or leave.   
  
Porcelain  
  
Chapter 1  
  
I was safe, as long as I only admired at a distance.  
  
Touching was out of the question, speaking was only when it was  
necessary, but I had always been taught that I could admire something as  
valuable and fragile as him at a distance.  
  
Which I did, quite often. Alex was of the Mercury Clan, which  
was obvious from his long, blue hair that seemed to fall in exactly the  
right way no matter the situation, and his deep blue eyes that seemed to  
pierce my heart and peer into my very soul. Cold eyes, which I wished  
would look upon me warmly, just once.  
  
Just once.  
  
He wasn't fragile, not really, only his pale skin gave him the  
appearance of something that could only be seen and not touched. Like a  
beautiful porcelain vase from Xian. Thin, tall, regal, and always with a  
complicated design.  
  
I didn't understand him, I'm not sure if anyone did. I didn't  
know why he was traveling with us, what his ties to Mia of Imil were, or  
even what he could really do.   
  
All I knew was every time he looked my way something inside of my  
heart and my head exploded, and I wanted to scream, and cry, and laugh  
all at once. I knew it was wrong, to think of him as something  
beautiful, as something I wanted to have. My parents used to punish me  
when I said similar things about Isaac from Vale. But Isaac, with his  
skin blemished by the sun, his hair falling into a blonde disarray, his  
calloused hands, and his little lopsided smile could never compare to  
Alex's cold beauty. The only thing that held Isaac in esteem was his  
blue eyes, something deeper hiding beneath their calm, unruffled  
surfaces.  
  
"Felix," he addressed me, and I shivered.   
  
"What, Alex?" I loved the way his name felt when I said it. Like  
water on ice.  
  
"Menardi wants us to scout ahead, c'mon," he gestured to the path  
in front of us. It was nearly invisible, covered with a thick blanket of  
snow. the only reason we could tell that there WAS a path was the pine  
trees, their branches laden with whiteness, lined up on either side. I  
felt happy, excited, sad, and nervous all at once. I would get to be  
alone with Alex, alone with him and only him. How sad that he didn't  
know what it meant to me.  
  
"Felix," Jenna said softly, tugging on my sleeve. "Don't leave  
me here. It's cold, and I'm scared."  
  
I looked into her big brown eyes, and sighed. "Jenna, here-"  
  
I pulled off my leather gloves. They would be too big for her,  
but they would keep her hands warm. "Think of it as my promise to come  
back."  
  
"But Felix, what about-"  
  
"Don't worry about me," I smiled at her, then nodded at Alex, who  
was standing knee deep in the snow, his cloak and hair billowing in the  
icy wind. How picturesque. He returned the gesture, and began trudging  
through the snow. I followed him, wrapping my arms tightly around  
myself, trying to only step in the footprints he left behind. I didn't  
want to slow him down, I didn't want to be a bother, not to HIM.  
  
"And hurry back," Menardi told us. "I'm cold."  
  
"You're always cold," Saturos said, exasperatedly. This started  
a heated argument, how typical of the Mars Adepts.  
  
We rounded a corner, and the sounds of the argument quickly faded  
into silence.   
  
For a long time it seemed like the entire world was that snowy  
path and the trees on either side, and our footsteps were the only sound  
in that world. It might have been hours, it might have been only a few  
minutes, but eternity could have passed me by without me regretting an  
instant. I was with Alex, and nothing else mattered.  
  
"Let's take a rest," Alex broke my sense of timelessness. I  
looked up at him, slightly dazed for a moment. He turned to look at me,  
then motioned to the side of the path. "There are some rocks, we should  
sit down."  
  
I nodded numbly in agreement, suddenly realizing just how tired I  
was becoming. And I was only walking in the depressions that Alex had  
already made. We moved towards the rocks, and sat down. We sat there,  
not saying anything for a while, Alex surveying the landscape, me looking  
the other way, catching glimpses of him from the corner of my eye.  
  
"God, Felix," Alex suddenly said.  
  
I followed his gaze, to my hands. The only reason my hands  
didn't feel cold was because they had gone numb long ago, after being so  
cold that they hurt. The skin was a dark shade of red, blotched by  
purple. I tried uselessly to rub at them, before Alex slipped off his  
gloves and took my hands in his.  
  
"Here, this will work better," he said simply. Heat rose to my  
face, which had probably reached the same shade as my hands. I quickly  
looked down to hide it, trying to say a word of gratitude through my  
lips, which weren't trembling entirely from the cold.  
  
His hands were warm, the skin of his palms and fingers soft and  
smooth. I almost felt like crying, my hands were so rough and imperfect  
compared to his, that he would stoop down to even TOUCH me...  
  
"Is something wrong?" he asked, his voice very soft, and almost  
gentle.  
  
"I'm fine," I muttered. "Just cold."  
  
The feeling was slowly returning to my hands. My bones ached,  
and my skin burned. I almost asked Alex to stop holding them, until he  
started rubbing them. It sent shivers through my entire body, and I  
wanted to lean forward...  
  
I brushed that thought aside, as quickly as I could.  
  
"Does that feel better?" he asked me.  
  
"Aren't your hands cold?" I asked.   
  
He laughed, such a nice sound. "No, I'm used to colder weather.   
Ply."  
  
The word was whispered, and from that single word came a soft  
blue light, that stopped the pain in my hands and returned the skin to  
its normal color. I looked up to say thank you, but stopped.  
  
Alex continued to hold both of my hands in his own, looking into  
my eyes with his own.   
  
"Felix..." he whispered. A whisper that held desire, longing,  
regret, and pain all at once. He stood, pulling me with him. We stood  
like that for a while, looking into each other's eyes, holding hands. It  
would have been romantic...it could have been...if only...  
  
He leaned in very close, his warm breath brushing against my  
cheek, a few loose strands of hair resting against my skin. I held his  
hands tighter, still looking into his deep blue eyes.  
  
"You're only a child," he whispered.  
  
"I'm seventeen," I retorted, my voice just as quiet.   
  
"Which makes you only a child," his eyes lost their cold, hard  
quality, the ice melting into warm glowing pools, into a look that I  
somehow knew was only for me. "A child that has quite a mess for a  
life."  
  
His right hand released mine. He brought it up and brushed it  
through my brown hair. He was standing so close now, I could feel his  
body heat through the small gap that separated us.   
  
"I would have gone insane if it wasn't for you," I said, so  
quietly I could hardly hear myself.  
  
"I would have shared the same fate if it wasn't for you," he  
moved, resting his chin on my shoulder, his cheek pressed into mine.   
"But you still might drive me over that edge, Felix."  
  
I stiffened slightly, then relaxed. I don't think I had been  
this close for this long with ANYONE before, except for maybe Isaac, in  
the sweet summer days that we spent together.   
  
But Alex...was much different than Isaac...  
  
"I don't think I ever could," I replied simply. His fingers  
continued to play with my hair, finally coming to rest on the back of my  
neck. It felt so strange, so wonderful, I felt like crying again.  
  
After eternity had passed us again, he stepped back, releasing my  
hand as he did. The one on my neck remained.  
  
"Only a child," he said, almost inaudible.   
  
"Even children know what they want," and I, marveling at my  
coldness, took the small step that still separated us, pulled my arms  
tightly around his neck and pressed my lips against his.  
  
He responded almost immediately, using the hand that wasn't  
against my neck to press into the small of my back.  
  
We only ended that sweet, pure kiss to breathe.  
  
"Felix..." he began. I rested my chin on his shoulder this time,  
and he pulled me close, holding me tight. "Felix...I...are you sure?"  
  
"More than I ever have been in my entire life," I leaned back to  
look into his eyes, his arms still encircling me.   
  
"Alright then," he said, leaned forward, and this time, he kissed  
me.  
  
  
See? That wasn't so bad! It's even written in first person so you  
people who though slash was squicky but read the story anyway could  
pretend Felix was a girl. Not that it's hard, Felix has that long hair  
going and everything. ^_^ Next chapter coming soon, even if you do  
flame me, so don't bother! Creative criticism is appreciated, and if you  
have a GOOD reason that I should not post a second chapter, and you can  
dictate me in a calm, level headed fashion without the use of profanity,  
I would like to see it. All flames will be put out by Alex and returned  
with worse flames from Garet.  
Garet: ::cracks his knuckles:: Pyroclasm prepared and ready to fire!  
Thanks, Garet! Alright, review if you have something to say, if not,  
then I don't care! 


	2. Chapter 2

Wow. I'm amazed at the positive response I got from everyone that  
reviewed! Thanks to all! It's a little more yaoi(more serious than  
shonnen ai) in this chapter, but nothing serious. Well, here we go!  
  
Chapter 2  
  
I sighed and leaned back against the wall of the Venus  
Lighthouse. The smooth white stone was still warm from the sun's dying  
rays, and I drank in from that warmth. Gondowan was a country made up  
primarily of desert, and the nights quickly became cold.  
  
Standing watch on such nights was no walk in the park.  
  
Not that I could have slept anyway. We were SO close...the  
Lighthouse that loomed behind me was a symbol of so many hopes, so many  
dreams that had been shattered by a storm...  
  
I shook my head to clear it. Tomorrow we would light the  
Lighthouse...well...after I got Saturos and Menardi in, THEY would light  
the Lighthouse. I would be left behind in Idejima with Kraden, Jenna,  
and Alex.  
  
Not that being left ANYWHERE with Alex was a BAD thing...  
  
"Felix?" a tentative voice called from the shadows.   
  
"Sheba?" I sat up straighter. "Is that you?"  
  
"Felix..." the blonde girl came out of the shadows, her hair  
shining in the moonlight. "I'm scared...I want to go home..."  
  
"I know," I patted the ground next to me. "We all do. But we  
have to light this Beacon first."  
  
"And then I can go home?" she looked up at me, her tears shining.  
  
Sheba was a recent addition to our group. She was a young  
Jupiter Adept with blonde hair and green eyes, she had quite the striking  
resemblance to the boy traveling in Isaac's company...his name escapes me  
at the moment. Sheba was the adopted daughter of Faran, the Mayor of  
Lavilero. Babi had taken her hostage for Colosso, and we had..."taken  
her under our wing" while she was traveling back to her home town. I  
wasn't quite sure why she was still with us. Her presence had allowed us  
practically safe passage from Laveliro. I reasoned that Saturos and  
Menardi simply wanted her along until the Beacon was lit.  
  
"Yeah, then you can go home," I reached over and brushed her  
tears away. "Don't worry, I'll keep you safe."  
  
"Thank you," she wiped the rest of her tears away. Even though I  
treated her like a second little sister, I suspected she had developed  
somewhat of a crush for me.  
  
Poor girl.  
  
"You'd better get to bed," I stood and helped her up. "It's  
late, and if Saturos doesn't sleep in, he'll be wanting an early start."  
  
"Alright," she smiled, somewhat shyly, and disappeared among the  
shadows that the moon threw upon the ground.  
  
I watched her go, then I left as well, but in a different  
direction. I headed towards the forest, sitting next to a fallen branch  
I had picked out earlier and waited.  
  
I didn't have to wait long. A flash of blue and white light  
announced his presence, before he had truly appeared.  
  
"Hello, Felix," Alex said, his smile just barely visible in the  
fading light of his Psynergy.  
  
"Alex," I smiled in return, even though he probably couldn't see  
it, and took the step that separated us. He pulled me close, holding me  
there.  
  
We stood like that for a long time, then he pulled back. "You  
know, we really have to stop meeting like this."  
  
"Oh, really," I grinned. "Who will tell Saturos and Menardi,  
you, or I?"  
  
"Never mind, then," he kissed me on the forehead. "We'll just  
have to meet like this until our little 'mission' is over."  
  
"'Little'?" I looked up at him. "This is 'little'?"  
  
He considered this for a moment. "Well, considering my next goal  
is total and complete world peace, I guess this is little."  
  
"You could just do that with Alchemy," I snuggled close to him.   
He rested his chin on my head, stroking my hair.  
  
"Or I could go door to door handing out pamphlets," he murdered.   
"Alchemy shouldn't be used to make people in what you want them to be,  
Felix."  
  
I couldn't think of anything to say to this, so I simply buried  
my face into his tunic.  
  
We spent most of our nights like this, just being with Alex alone  
was usually enough for me.   
  
If I could always just BE with him, that would make me happy.  
  
"Felix," Alex whispered, pulling me away and kissing me. I  
kissed him back, and he began undoing the knot on my scarf.  
  
Just being with him is grand, but I quite like our other late  
night activities, too.  
  
**********  
  
"Felix, open the door," Saturos growled at me. He wasn't very  
happy, he had woken up when I was supposed to be on watch, and when I  
wasn't there...  
  
Well, let's just say that there's a REASON why Mars Adepts are  
renown for their horrible tempers.  
  
I pressed my hand to the wall, and the doors slid open with a  
heavy grating sound. Saturos seemed satisfied, and pushed me out of the  
way on his way in.  
  
"Get going," he growled. "Alex, Felix, you take Jenna and Kraden  
to the ship at Idejima."  
  
"What about Sheba?" I asked.  
  
"She's coming with us," Menardi answered, taking the Jupiter  
Adept by the arm and dragging her along.  
  
"Felix!" Sheba shrieked. She struggled to reach me, but Menardi  
pulled her through the opening, and the doors slammed shut.  
  
"Oh well," I sighed, turning back to our much smaller group.   
"Let's go-"  
  
"Felix," Jenna growled. "Go after them. You have to save Sheba,  
got it?"  
  
"Jenna..." I protested. "Let's just go to the ship..."  
  
"I think it's a good idea," Alex stretched, and grinned at me.   
"Don't worry, I'll protect your baby sister."  
  
"I hate you," I growled, stalking up to the doors and opening  
them. I knew Jenna wondered why I normally did what Alex said. Of  
course, my hot headed little sister had never been in LOVE...and she  
didn't know that I was IN love...maybe I should tell her about that...  
  
"Alex, if I don't come back..." I turned towards them when I  
reached the door.  
  
"I know," he nodded.  
  
"And tell Jenna about...you know..."   
  
He smiled, that warm gentle smile reserved for me and me alone.   
"I will. Be careful."  
  
Jenna was looking more confused by the minute. Kraden had a  
small smile on his face. Despite his apparent absent mindedness, the old  
scholar had seen what my little sister hadn't.  
  
"I will be," I whispered. I wanted to add "I love you", but I  
didn't.  
  
I'd see him soon. And I'd tell him then.  
  
  
Once again, flames will be returned by worse flames from Garet, and  
reviews are greatly appreciated. And Ivan, yes, they both have long hair  
and they both could be girls, but doesn't that defeat the entire purpose? 


	3. Chapter 3

I realize this is a short chapter. Much apologies. But I like how it  
is, and how it ends. Even if there isn't much Alex/Felix. Enjoy.  
  
Porcelain  
  
Chapter 3  
  
"We had every advantage...and we still lost..."  
  
I didn't know what emotion to feel when Saturos and Menardi fell into the  
beacon pit. Anger, at Isaac and his companions for taking my revenge  
away from me? Relief that the pain at the Mars Adept's hands was over?  
  
I didn't have to make that decision. The Lighthouse began to shake. I  
fell to one knee, trying to keep myself steady. A roar filled my ears,  
it took me a minute to realize that the oceans had risen up to the base  
of the lighthouse. The earth groaned at the pressure, I could feel the  
power of Venus in my very bones. A power the lighthouse was trying to  
contain.  
  
A crack split the air, and I was thrown up against the wall I was  
standing next to. After a moment I managed to look up.   
  
The lighthouse was coming apart. The thin strand of gold light that had  
been rising from the beacon pit had disappeared. The worst of the quakes  
seemed to be over, the white stone beneath me was merely trembling.  
  
"FELIX!"  
  
I whipped around. Sheba, poor, innocent, defenseless Sheba, had been  
thrown off of the lighthouse. She was hanging onto the parparet with one  
hand. "FELIX!!!!"  
  
"Hang on, Sheba!" I took a step forward just as a particularly violent  
shake tripped me up. I fell against the parparet, hitting my temple. I  
saw stars, and I could feel blood sliding down the side of my face,  
staining the snow colored stone beneath me crimson. I struggled to my  
hands and knees, crawling to the edge. "Sheba! Take my hand!"  
  
I stretched as far as I could, but I was still falling miserably short of  
the Jupiter Adept. She looked up at me, the sun making the tears on her  
cheeks shine. "I...I can't! Felix...I'm scared!"  
  
"You can do it, Sheba!" I encouraged her. "We'll make it through this,  
we will!"  
  
But even as I reassured her, even as the words left my lips I knew we  
wouldn't. The way down from the lighthouse...the only way out...  
  
It was too far away to jump, and the stone was crumbling more by the  
minute. A violent wave on the side of the lighthouse below, sending  
sparkling droplets in the air. We wouldn't make it out alive, we were  
going to die here.  
  
Alex...Jenna...I'm so sorry...  
  
"We'll make it..." I said, more to convince myself than the terrified  
girl holding onto a bit of stone. "We're going to make it..."  
  
"Thank you for everything, Felix," Sheba said softly. "Thank you..."  
  
"Don't talk like that, we're going to make it!" I yelled back at her,  
reaching even farther than I thought possible...  
  
I almost had caught her wrist when the piece of stone she was holding  
onto broke away, and she tumbled out into space.  
  
"SHEBA!" I wasn't sure if it was me screaming, or the people behind me.   
"NO! SHEBA!"  
  
I had let her down...I had let everyone down...  
  
For a moment I just stood there, looking around. Everything seemed to  
hold a clarity that it never had before. The sun on the stone, the sky  
sharp against the parparet, the clouds etched in blue, a bird flying  
by...  
  
I took a step forward, my footing uneasy on the shaking airie, and spread  
my arms as if to embrace the world.   
  
When I jumped, it almost seemed like I could fly, looking down on the  
blue of the water and the white of the foam.  
  
White like porcelain.  
  
Then the waves rushed up to meet me, as someone behind me screamed my  
name.  
  
******  
  
See? Short and sweet, right? Anyways, sorry for the delay, but I  
updated! I hope you liked it! ^_^ 


End file.
